Empty Cans
by Mun Pai
Summary: An ex gang member, ex drug addict, ex professional killer reminisces about his past to a prison therapist. It may not all be perfectly true, but since when has Reno been the most honest person? AU. Reno's POV
1. Suzie, Rude, frogs, yadda yadda

Empty Cans

This is the first chapter.

So I think the first time I really messed up my life was when I was in kindergarten. No one knows what they're doin' when they're little kids, you know? I was five years old. What's the point of a five-year-old in school? I dunno, but there I was, in kindergarten, cuttin' out shapes with a pair of blunt scissors.

It was that construction paper, that thick stuff that comes in all sorts a' bright colors and doesn't look good with pencil or anything on it. We had to cut out all different shapes and glue 'em onto another piece of construction paper. The teacher told us to make an animal. A lot o' the girls were doin' rabbits and cats and all those fluffy things, and most of the boys were doin' crap like dogs or whatever.

Now, me, bein' the kind o' person that I am, I thought "animal" meant "person" too. My sister, who's ten years older than me told me humans were animals too so we were cannibals when we ate chickens and cows. I'm a cannibal then, but anyway…So I was cuttin' out shapes to make my animal, which was s'posed to look like the girl sittin' across from me.

My reasoning told me that the girl was really more like a cow than a person, so I was in the right. Still, it was hard to cut out the right shapes to make a person, and when I turned it in, the teacher asked me what animal it was.

I told her it was Suzie, the girl sittin' across from me. Since I'm a loud guy, and was a loud kid, I said it like I was yellin' across a canyon, although the teacher was right in my face. O' course, the teacher wasn't pleased with that and neither was Suzie, or whatever her name was. Both of them got mad, but Suzie was crying instead of glarin' daggers at me.

Low and behold, I got sent to the principle and I had to explain to HIM why I made a picture o' the cow-girl instead of just a cow. I tried to explain that I could just cover it up with black and white paper an' no one would ever know the difference. That didn't fly with the principle either. He just got angrier and called my Mam about it.

Let me tell you somethin' about my Mam. She was in the army; she don't take crap from anybody. But if I do somethin' wrong, then I'm in for it. So, those of you who've got crazy mams like me, you know what I'm talkin' about, right?

Mam squawked over the phone at me for about half an hour. Then I went back to class, where I had to apologize to Suzie about the whole cow thing. I did it three times 'cause the first two weren't sincere.

But you know, whatever, really. Cuttin' out shapes to make cows or cats or ducks or whatever is something you only do in kindergarten 'cause we're not smart enough yet to do math or spellin' or anything.

Suzie was the first girl in my life. She was the first one that made me make an idiot outta myself. She wasn't the last in either o' those categories.

When I was ten, I went out to this swamp with my best pal, Rude. The swamp's behind Mam's house. It's real big and it's got all sorts of filth and critters crawlin' around in it. Rude an' me wanted to go catch a toad or a lizard or even an alligator, but our net was only really big enough to get a frog. A tree frog. It was that small.

Rude was taller than me. He's always been taller than me, though. But he never had hair. There were eyebrows, and when he got older, there was a beardy-goatee type of thing…But he never had hair on his head. I'd ask him why sometimes, but he'd just say somethin' like "I shave my head."

Well.

I guess that really makes sense. Still, no hair at the age of six, when we met, is weird. Little kids don't shave their heads, do they? Unless their parents are scared they'll catch lice or get scabbies or somethin'. Rude's a healthy guy. He was a healthy kid, too, so I don't get it. Maybe he was just BORN without ANY hair. That'd be a possibility, I s'pose.

Right. The swamp. I knew you'd remind me, in that stupid, rude voice of yours. So Rude and I were at that swamp with our pansy ass net….Oh. Sorry, I know you don't like me cussin' an' all.

At that swamp, there's this big pond of stagnant water, you know? So mosquitoes an' crap are all buzzin' around, layin' eggs and bitin' stuff, while Rude and me are tryin' to find a toad or anything. Snakes were slitherin' around in the water. Water beetles were skitterin' across the surface o' that nasty, brown-green-diarrhea colored pond. Livin' by a swamp meant everythin' was humid. So it was humid as hell that day. It was the middle of summer, for God's sake.

Boys do stupid things in summer, like tryin' to catch toads.

I stood in that nasty pond for a few minutes with that net. Rude was watchin' from a spot in a tree. He told me there was somethin' splashin' around. I saw it so I thwapped my net on top o' it.

So this thing starts writhing around, tryin' to get free even though it was still in the water. What the hell, you know? It couldda just swam out from underneath the net and bit me on the leg an' gave me some parasites or somethin' but instead, it just kept panicking like the stupid little amphibious creature it was. So I scooped it up and peeked down at it.

Rude jumped outta the tree to see it too.

Some kinda fishy-frog was floppin' around. I frowned down at it, tryin' to figure out if it was a frog or if it was a fish. Maybe it was a mix, I thought to myself, but really, Rude smartly pointed out it's a salamander. Well, all right then, Mr. Fucking-Frog-Expert, you know everything, don't you?

Yeah, I know YOU aren't Rude. Don't tell me that; I'm not that stupid.

Anyway, I dunno what the point of that story was, but there it is and there's no point in takin' it off your records anyway, is there? "Everything I say is valuable," you know? You could use it all somehow, I bet.

So now, here's my introduction. Here's my prologue. You said you wanted me to talk about myself, so this is just it. I talk about whatever I think of, I guess.

I'm Reno, not pronounced "ree-no" as in the "re" in "redo" or "reread" or anythin'. It's "re" as in "red." People pronounce my name wrong too much and it really annoys me, you know? You don't like it when people say your name wrong, do you? But your name's pretty easy to say, I think. Then again, people got different opinions, so the point to all this is kinda moot, wouldn't ya say?

Right now, I'm twenty-six. A pretty young fellow for bein' in this kinda predicament, I must admit. Next week's my birthday, so I'll be twenty-seven. In three years I'll be thirty, hard to believe, isn't it? Once you're thirty, everythin' goes down hill, don't it? How old are you? Oh, well, you're on your way down then. After thirty, everythin' starts fallin' apart, they say.

Don't ask me who "they" are, though. People talk about stuff and when they don't really know what they're talkin' about they use "they." An example would be…I suppose, "They say that if you don't wash your hair every day, your hair's healthier 'cause it retains its natural oils." That's the kinda thing my sister used to tell me when I was a kid. I'd get in trouble, naturally, for not washin' my hair every day. Mam got pissed when I told her it was what Sis told me.

So there's this "they" problem. Who're people really talkin' about when they say "they?" In fact, who'm I talkin' about when I say "people" and "they?" People I know, I s'pose.

Lemme ask you a question about your personal life. Do you use the word "they" in situations where you dun really know what you're talkin' about?

I knew it! You answered honestly and that's a surprise, definitely. I'm not s'posed to ask you a bunch of questions, so I'll keep 'em to a minimum.

To get back to the point, my life's been an endless mess ever since the day that crap happened with Suzie. After droppin' out of high school, I joined up with a street gang. Not one o' those wanna-be gangster groups, you know? Those real hardcore people who really kill people and really sell drugs an' all kinds of shit. Like the rest of 'em, I started usin' too. Pretty much anythin' I could get my grimy hands on, but eventually I realized how much I was fuckin' myself over. So I quit the gang.

They titled me a double-crosser, even though I hadn't run off to another gang. I dun think they really knew what a "double-crosser" was. I might not sound like it or look like it, but I'm pretty smart if I do say so myself (and I do).

Obviously the gang came after me. I had no way of makin' a livin' bein' a drop out an' all so I went back to me Mam's house and asked her for some money. She told me I looked like a skeleton 'cause I'd been doin' speed an' gave me no money. She gave me a sad stare an' told me if I got help and got a real job, then she'd finally be proud o' me. I wanted to make 'er proud, I guess, but I didn't know where to start. It's hard to so somethin' like that, you know?

I was still doin' speed, so my first step I guess was to turn myself in to the police. I told my best buddy, Rude, what I was gonna do. He'd completed school an' was off to college to go…become…I dunno what. Anyway, he said he was glad I was gonna do that. I guess I wanted ta make him proud too.

So I went to the police with my stash an' everythin'. I told 'em what I'd been doing.

Naturally, the police were pissed but I told 'em I wanted help. I didn't wanna be that way anymore and then they seemed to ease up. Didn't even havta go to court. They just put me on probation an' I went to rehab after I told 'em the names o' the jackasses in that gang.

I am a double-crosser.

It don't end there, though. No, I'm not talkin' to you about my rehab really. I'm tellin' you about what happened afterward. After I met Rufus Shinra an' really started getting' into crazy situations.

But your buzzer's goin' off so it's time fer me to go, huh?

Guess I'll continue this crap monologue next time. I bet you love your job, don't you?

(Author's Note: This is alternate universe slightly. Reno is still somewhat of a hit man or whatever, but this doesn't actually go along with the story of FF7. PLEASE do not think this is a biography of Reno going along with the game because it's NOT. I've changed character's ages and relationships with one another. So don't bother saying "Tseng's really this many years old" because to be perfectly honest, I don't care.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Please continue to read it as I post stuff and…reviews are lovely! )


	2. Tseng x Elena 4evar!

Empty Cans

So…Obviously, this is the second chapter.

It's ok for me to just…ramble right? You don't care that I'm not goin' along with what I left off with last time?

Oh, right, I'd mentioned Rufus and the police and Rude….oh, and that girl in Kindergarten (but that wasn't really important). So I s'pose the next person who needs ta be given' a formal intro would be my ol' boss, the infamous Rufus Shinra.

To start out, I heard that "Shinra" means "new evil" or somethin' in ancient Egyptian. Dunno if that's just a rumor or not, but in my opinion (which I know you covet so much) it don't suit Rufus. Sure, I know you people who don't know him think he's a bastard and a merciless cut-throat…But me an' the other people who _really _knew 'im know what a great guy he really is.

Rufus was my "second chance" in gettin' my life right. After I'd screwed myself over with that gang and gotten outta rehab, I was really desperate for some kinda job. I'd do anything. So I ended up with a minimum wage suck-ass job at a sleazy fast food joint. My life was shit and it had BEEN shit fer a really long time. But one night I was takin' the tube back to my rat hole of an apartment…

It was a really cold night in November. It was so cold my fingernails hurt. THAT'S when you know it's cold. The tube wasn't very clean. You know about that though. It's all grimy and nasty. There's graffiti out the wazoo and it always smells like vomit and marijuana. On the back of the seat I was sittin' behind were the words "Tseng x Elena 4evar" in girly scratching.

Right when I was wonderin' who Tseng and Elena were, the tube came to a screechin' halt and a man in a fancy white coat stepped on. It was just me and him. At first, I was tryin' to ignore him, but his eyes were boring holes into my skull. Five minutes passed. He was still starin' at me.

I don't think you grasp how powerful of a STARE Rufus Shinra had. No one who didn't work fer him does. His eyes were narrow and the most insane shade of blue I've ever seen. It was like with just one look, he could see right through you; tell what you're thinkin' an' everything. Naturally, he always intimidated people, made 'em feel totally insignificant.

So I was pretty weirded out by him. I knew that there were all sorts o' freaks who rode the tube at night, but I couldn't figure out what the hell a guy like HIM wanted with me. Instead of bein' smart and lettin' him have the first move, I decided to say somethin', which was downright stupid o' me. One thing you never wanna do is question Rufus Shinra when you don't even know him.

"I got somethin' on my face?"

Yeah.

I couldn't even have said anything cooler than that. Now that I think about it though, what else WAS there to say? It's not like I coulda just said "hello, nice night, huh?" Well, maybe that would've been better, really…Or just something along the lines of "the tube really sucks," but that definitely wouldn't have impressed him.

Rufus's eyebrows went up in a way that clearly said "that's the stupidest shit I've ever heard." I saw him smirk as he brushed his blond bangs outta his eyes. They just fell right back. "No," he replied, "If there was, I would've told you." He paused, givin' me a condescending stare. "Your name is Reno Hsiang, isn't it?"

Now, it's weird enough when someone says my name the right way, since it's a butchering of Midgarian and Wutaiye, but that's just it. I'm half-an'-half, ya see. That's why I got slanty eyes and red hair. Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, what was even stranger that Rufus got my name right was that he knew my name at all. I'd never seen him before, or if I had, I obviously didn't remember where…and forgetting someone like him wouldn't have been too easy.

It's not like I thought Rufus was hot. It's just that he had a very superior air about him and wore all that white. He reminded me of a doctor or a priest or something. Those are the kind of people I try to avoid (them and the cops, that is) so…I have no idea where I'm goin' with this.

"That's me."

I like to keep things simple most o' the time.

That catty smirk stayed on his lips but there was some kinda serious look in his eyes. He wasn't just messin' with me; he wanted to talk with me about something important.

I bet you didn't know I'm so good at readin' people, huh?

Like right now, I can tell you're frustrated that I'm deviatin' from the subject. I'm gonna tell you straight up that this story o' mine isn't just about my little relationship with Rufus Shinra, whatever that relationship was. It's about the other people I worked with when I worked for him; Rude (yea, that's irony. He'd been workin' for Rufus for a while, durin' the time I'd been dealin' with gangs an' drugs an' all that), Elena, and Tseng (yeah, those people whose names I read on the tube. Once again, irony.)

All right, all right. Back to the tube, back to Rufus and his ridiculous hair. He slipped his hand into his breast pocket and produced a little, rectangular business card. "I'm Rufus Shinra. It's a pleasure to meet you," he said as he held the card out to me.

I thought it was really odd that some random fancy-ass business guy was givin' me his card and bein' all prim and proper. Still, I took the card and glanced down at it. For Rufus Shinra, it was pretty nondescript. It was white with red, italic font.

_Rufus Shinra, Shin-Ra Electric Company_

That's pretty much what it looked like. It was smart of him, I thought later, that he didn't put on there that he was the freakin' president's son.

"Uh…It's great to meet you an' all…But uh…What do you want with me?"

At that point in my life, I didn't know when to be blunt and when to be polite.

Rufus laughed. His voice reminded me of those television announcers who talk about the weather like it's a Goddamn comedy show. Ya know what I'm talkin' about, right? "Whoa, look at all that rain! It's gonna be a rainy day today! Hahaha!"

They're the only people who laugh like "hahaha," I used to think. Until I met Rufus, anyway. He laughed like "hahaha" too, but he sounded much more…genuine, I s'pose.

The tube doors shut before I could even get off at my stop. Rufus didn't seem too phased by that. I bet he knew that was where I usually got off at.

"You used to be a member of a street gang here in Midgar," he said as the tube took off again.

"How the fuck do you know that?" Once again, my severe lack of respect is astoundin', isn't it?

He laughed again. Hahaha. "I know a great deal about you, Mr. Hsiang," he said, sitting back down. Even when he was looking up at me, Rufus still made me feel like I was some itty bitty flea and he was some kinda god. How's that for an analogy?

I rolled my eyes. "I bet you do. Wanna tell me what's goin' on?" Patience wasn't something I had very much of.

"Shin-Ra Electric has taken an interest in you," Rufus said, lacin' his fingers together and stickin his hands on his knee. "You're in need of a job, aren't you? We'll pay you more than anyone else in this city." Anyone who spouts crap like that is always up to something.

But that's a story I'll have to save to finish tomorrow, huh? It's shorter than our last appointment, but don't worry. You'll find out more soon.


End file.
